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Never Leave Your Partner Behind

Posted November 5, 2008

Recently my parents were kind enough to watch Suzi while Jordan and I went on a date. I had read about the movie Fireproof on a blog and decided we needed to see it. After watching the trailer, I felt lukewarm about it (the trailer makes it look a little cheesy) but reading its ratings on Yahoo strengthened my resolve.

It was constructive and thought-provoking; one of those rare movies that has the power not only to entertain but to affect change. I think every couple should see this movie. It's about a fireman who rescues people from burning buildings and smashed cars but whose own marriage is in serious trouble. His wife barely acknowledges him, except to remind him of his shortcomings, and he believes she is the problem because she shows him no respect. After planning to go forward with a divorce, he speaks with his father who convinces him to give his marriage 40 days. His father sends him a book called The Love Dare, and every day he is to change one thing about the way he treats his wife. The results are not always what you'd expect.

This is a Christian film, and I liked that about it. Some people who rated the movie commented that they didn't like the Christian aspect because the story was "good enough without it." Hello--building a faith-based marriage was the entire point of the movie!

Best of all, the makers of this movie have published The Love Dare so you can buy it and see it work in your own marriage. Naturally, Jordan and I had to have a copy. I thought I would get it and do the things in it for Jordan, but by the time the movie was over I wanted the book yesterday, so we had to go buy it. On the way out of the theater, as I suggested we stop at the bookstore on the way home, Jordan chuckled and admitted "I was actually going to order a copy online." (He's a prince, I tell you.) You can get them at Books-a-Million, but I think they are cheaper online.

We are on day three out of forty and can already see it changing our marriage and our lives. There is scripture, like any devotional, an explanation of the day's challenge, and then the dare. After you finish the dare there is a place to write about how things went. What an amazing memoir to look back on at your 25th or 50th anniversary!

For the past several days, Jordan and I have done quite well with the first day's simple task of saying nothing negative to one another. It's brightened the overall tone of our home. Today we were supposed to buy one another something that said 'I was thinking about you,' and we both bought each other small things. We aren't into spending large amounts of money on gifts--even for Christmas and birthdays. So far, The Love Dare has succeeded in getting Jordan and me to think of each other all day. We do things we used to avoid and are excited about the result of making one another happy. I'd recommend The Love Dare to anyone, but especially to those whose marriages are in crisis.

I am so lucky to have a husband who agreed to see this movie with me without whining. Very few men want to see it; I think most men would rather have their toenails painted and legs waxed while watching Bridezillas than confront the idea that something may need to change in their marriage. But my husband went, and I didn't have to drag him. I never do! He trusts that if I say something's important, it must be important, and I am thankful for that.

Go to the movie. Go. Just go. Stop at the bookstore on your way home.