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On Tap: The land of fandome is hard to navigate - and survive

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Monday night, I almost had a heart attack.

OK, not really, but last night it felt like I was going to have a heart attack. Last night, it felt like my heart was going to pound out of my chest and it was all over a game. A freakin’ game.

Monday night, the Pittsburgh Steelers played one of their rivals, the Baltimore Ravens. And when these two teams play, it’s almost always a knock-down, kick-you-in-the-teeth affair where the team with the least members hurt usually comes out on top.

But, before I tell you about the game, let me tell you why these things always make me fear for my health.

As many football fanatics, I get a little too into the game. It starts the morning of, when I go outside, put up the Steelers flags for my truck and ensure they are centered for the drive wherever I might go.

Then, I go back in the house, find all the things I have to wear for the game including the jeans I wear every week, the socks I wear every week, the T-shirt and jersey I wear every week and the hat I wear every week.

(Oh, and the underwear I have to wear on game day every week.)

So, once the ensemble is together, then we can get to the accessories. Like the Terrible Towel I have to swing every week. And the Steelers bottle opener I have to use every week. And the Steelers koozie I have to place my beer in every week.

(Oh, and the kind of beer I have to drink every week — Yuengling lager in cans.)

Then I sit down, hold onto a football and just about have a heart attack — every week.

The Steelers were down 13-3 at halftime and midway through the 3rd quarter. Then, they exploded for two touchdowns in 15 seconds and were up 17-13. Then they got a field goal — when they should have scored a touchdown — and we were up 20-13.

As a Steeler fan, I knew that meant nothing. A few minutes later, my coronary was eminent when the Ravens scored the tying touchdown and sent this puppy into OT.

By 12:15 a.m. on Tuesday, my heart was pounding and my palms were sweaty. The Ravens won the toss and took the ball. The Steelers were somehow able to stop them from getting into field goal range and got the ball around midfield. What felt like 200 agonizing plays later, after a missed handoff and a near sack, the Steelers finally kick the field goal to win the game.

It took me a half-hour to be able to go to sleep. I had to tell myself to calm down. And I narrowly avoided my third heart attack of the season. I was able to sleep before getting up to write this very column.

And we are only four games into it.

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