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Who are you calling 'hon'?
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We all do it at times, especially those of us born and raised in the South. We speak to older people much like we do to children, not from a lack of respect, but because it is, to us, an indication of affection, a way to connect.
But a study from Yale University says many seniors don’t like being called by a pet name.
In fact, some of those questioned got downright angry at what they perceived as being talked down to, interpreting it as “negative images of aging.”
One woman said that she even peppered her conversation with profanities when with people she doesn’t know. “That makes them think, ‘this is someone to be reckoned with,’” Ellen Kirschman, 68, a police psychologist in Northern California, told The New York Times.
Why Kirschman thinks the profanities help garner respect for her eludes us, but to each his own.
A retired teacher is less offended by the prospect of being called “young lady” than she is by the feeling she is left out of the conversation entirely.
Bea Howard, 77, said during a recent visit to a restaurant, her companion, a younger friend, received the bulk of the server’s attention, as if she was not capable of ordering for herself or even enjoying her meal without assistance.
In another case reported, a woman was outraged that the packaging for her prescription was changed when the pharmacist explained it was to help her remember her daily dose.
As all the members of our editorial board are considerably younger than the lady in question, and repeatedly ask that our own prescriptions be in non-childproof containers, and often have to ask ourselves, “Did I take that pill?” we really don’t see the offense in that case.
Vicki Rosebrook, who is executive director of a facility that caters to the two ends of the age spectrum, the elderly and children, as part of a retirement village, considers so-called “elderspeak” as a form of bullying.
We have readers of all ages. And we respect the contributions to the conversation and the content that all can provide.
And we’ll admit people can indeed be thoughtless, if we can also acknowledge that sometimes, others see discrimination where none really exists.
Personally, we find it offensive that these days, it seems we can’t even attempt to be kind to one another without an ulterior motive being suspected.
That’s demeaning to all concerned.
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