I think my days of counting calories are over.

After a few months at it and lamenting that chicken wings seem to have about 4 billion of the little suckers, I have decided that counting calories is no way for a person with my absolute love of eating should live.

Now, rather than trying to figure out every little calorie in every little (or large) thing that I eat, I am working on a system that will allow me to eat what I want and still lose weight. It’s called the “Eat What You Want and Still Lose Weight” diet and it’s going to be awesome. I am planning on writing a book and putting together a video and getting various sports stars as spokespeople and even making Oprah put me on her show.

It’s going to be the greatest thing that ever happened to me, but first I need to run my ideas by you guys. You need to be my sounding board and tell me if you think these ideas will fly.

1. Don’t eat things that come from the Little Debbie group of products or anything else with names like HoHo, Twinkies, Party Cakes or Laden With Hydrogenated Oils Fun Pies. This seems like a no-brainer, but I’ve come to learn that people are very addicted to these products. I can see where that might be the case, and I must admit that sugar can be habit-forming, but I figure this is an easy one and will keep me away from diabetes, too.

2. Ride Your Bike Three Times a Week: This could also be the name of my diet, but I didn’t like the cut of its jib. Right now is a nice time to ride one’s bike and it’s a good time to enjoy that exercise. Like most of my exercising endeavors, this will likely turn into the “Look at My Bike’s Tires Go Flat From Lack of Use” diet, but we have to do what we have to do.

3. Look at Myself in the Mirror: I figure if this doesn’t get me on the bike, nothing will. I will look at myself, in just my underpants, everyday until I see some kind of results. At the very least, I will convince myself that I don’t look that bad and just concede to getting fat.

4. Cut Off My Hair: This should shave (pun intended) about 3 pounds and make for a good start to my diet.

5. Get a Wii and a Wii Fit: I think everything can be solved through video games and Nintendo was smart enough to put American’s love of food and their want to be skinny and their love of video games into one product that flies off the shelf. I normally wouldn’t do this, but if Consumer Reports says it’s a good idea, then I am in.

6. Stop Eating Candy: For some reason, a Twinkie doesn’t appeal, but those darn Jolly Ranchers do. And so do Skittles. And I love gum. Oh, and did I mention my enjoyment of all things Blue Raspberry in flavor. So, I have to quit with the candy…sometime tomorrow.

And that’s it. I am going to do all these things and I believe I will be able to eat what I want and still lose weight. Except for HoHos. And candy. And really I should stay away from chicken wings. But that’s what got me to this diet thing in the first place.

Watch out Oprah, here I come.